Sunday, July 20, 2008

Football Season

You men are all the same; play your little games
Feed me little lies, while feeling up my thighs
Prying me apart
Coaxing out my heart
Tossing it around; drop it on the ground
Drop me on my ass
An unreceived pass
Why do I do this?
I’m covered in bruises
Why do I bother?
There will just be another
Too long a dropped pass
I’m just such an ass.

Friday, July 11, 2008

Wal-Mart always makes me cry....

When relationships fail, the individuals involved grieve the loss of the person as well as the many activities, songs, jokes, and what not that they shared. Little romantic gestures, pet names, a favourite show, a weekend getaway, all become tainted with the smell of loss.

For me, it's Wal-Mart.

Friday nights in this small town would see me and my husband at Wal-Mart, dressed in our finest Ozarks-backwoods outfits, cruising the aisles to restock on cat food, people food and what not.

We even brought along walkie talkies so we could keep track of one another in the store.

We would laugh at the people (who were likely laughing at us), marvel over the things we discovered that to that point we had somehow managed to live without, and generally check things out. My husband was inevitably drawn, like a mosquito to a fair-skinned arm, to the garden department. He would seek out plants that oddly managed to avoid being watered, and were relegated to the side to die out of the sight of customers. He would bring these poor, rejected, unloved beauties home, to nurture them and encourage them to their potential. It was amazing how these brown, diseased bits of flora thrived under his care, and repaid him with their exhibition of flowers, berries and leaves. His favourite was roses, and although I told him countless times that roses do not like our city's obscene temperature fluctuations and aridity, he persisted.

I have a lovely hedge of roses just out the window beside me, and rose bushes all around the house. A particular one, a red rose, blooms just outside this window. I notice the blooms each day and thank him for the flowers. Eternal blossoms. Roses everyday.

I tried going into Wal-Mart's garden department this season. I didn't make it as far as the roses or the half-baked bits of stem and leaves. I don't think I'll go back.

Thursday, July 10, 2008

When the Gods want to punish you....

One of my favourite movies is Out Of Africa, based on the writings of Baroness Karen von Bliksen-Finecke (under the name Isak Dinesen) and her life in Africa. In the film, Meryl Streep as Karen, says "when the Gods want to punish you they answer your prayers".

Always be careful what you wish for. Sometimes what becomes important is the having, not the keeping, nor the wanting. This happens all the time in auctions; you get so caught up in having the winning bid that you lose sight of what it is you are bidding for. You get your black velvet painting of the wide eyed child and think: "I just spent $500 on this?" The rush of the getting is soon crushed by the reality of the having.

No different with men. Or should I say with relationships with men. A guy dumps you, you swear you would do anything to have him back, to just be with him again.... But when it happens? Suddenly his teeth are worse than you remembered...he drinks too much...he's awfully skinny...not really that interesting... Never mind! My mistake...go back from whence you came.

I beg, my dear, please come back,
I'll give you anything.
I'll make up for the things you lack
And make you feel like you're a King.

Oh please my love, I plead, I pray
For you to hold me tight.
What's that...you're here? With me you'll stay?
Um, I have to catch a flight...

Tuesday, July 1, 2008

Humble Pie, a la mode

I'm staying for the week at my best friend's condo in Vancouver, while she and her husband are in Australia. It is a lovely place, 15th floor of a new building, views of the city, mountains and water. It is also only 3 blocks from Canada's poorest neighbourhood..the Downtown Eastside.

Hastings and Main is the epicentre. When I first moved to Vancouver as an excited 17 year old in 1983, my girlfriend and I would often walk through that part of town, taking in the "colour" and shopping at Woodwards, Cabbages and Kinx, The Underground...all the stuff small town girls didn't have the opportunity to experience. I never felt unsafe then. I always saw the people as just slightly edgy characters, people John Steinbeck would have written about. When I moved downtown in the early 1990's, I made a point of driving through the neighbourhood on my way back from University classes every week. I wanted to be aware of what was happening in this area; I did not want to live in oblivion in the trendy West End. I was dismayed. the people were more in number and sicker than I recalled.

Last night, I got back to my friend's condo very late. I made a point to drive through the Downtown Eastside neighbourhood, to update my awareness of the local situation. I winced. "This is wrong" forced its way out of my mouth, to no one who was listening. These are our people. This is Canada. Shopping carts, cardboard boxes and chemicals do not make a home. This is wrong.

How can we comment on the rest of the world, how can we pat ourselves on the back for being granted the opportunity to "host the world" in 2010? We have forgotten our sons and daughters on the street, and their numbers have increased exponentially. They are sick, and we are failing them.

I have no problems. I am ashamed that I complained. There but for the grace of God.....

Happy Birthday Canada...instead of cake, I will be eating humble pie....

Q