What time is it?

Hmm, Sunday...April. Wow. At some points I was quite certain I would not make it this far; how to breathe when the oxygen has left you (for another set of lungs in Scotland)? Like it or not, I am still breathing--this oxygen substitute is almost like the real thing.

I have been....distracting. Engaging in self-centred, ego-boosting distraction. Big project at work, lots of travel, for work and to see my best friend. All roads have led to Vancouver, and that's not bad. I have my young cousin staying with me presently. She has just finished her teacher's practicum and in just a few short days will be a fully qualified teacher. Having her here has been a fabulous distraction, because, despite our 16 year age difference (guess who is older) I feel like we have been roomates, and my lack of attention to household chores and the other mundane requirements of being an adult just sort of seems age appropriate. Never mind that it is appropriate for her age, not mine. I have just managed to slide by doing less than the minimum. Cats are still alive; I doubt they would let me get away without feeding them.

That's not to say I have been neglecting myself! Oh no, to the contrary. New clothes, shoes, hair, to outfit my slowly diminishing figure. And lots of going out. I'm a young social butterfly, newly escaped from my cocoon! And dripping in purple prose.

On the self esteem front, things are okay. My young cuz tells me I have a more exciting life than her; guys HER age are asking me out. I guess I'm not dead, or over the hill, or quite so boring as I imagined. I don't want to un-exist anymore; not for the moment, anyway. I see possibilities, lots of them. Too many. I don't know what to do this summer. My choices: visit my best friend and her husband in Australia where they will be for two months (he's a professor, will be teaching at U of Sydney); while they are away, stay by myself at their fabulous urban-chic condo in downtown Vancouver (15th floor, view of the ocean), complete with car and all amenities; visit my screenwriter/actor friends in Toronto and my buddy in Boston (doing his PhD at MIT); London and Paris, by myself (I've been both cities before and I love them). Not bad options.

Still no word from hubby, save the Valentines flowers and card. I know he loves me. I know I am the best thing that has ever happened to him. I know he has problems. I still love him, always will. Next month is our anniversary--6 years. I expect I will hear from him then. I have made plans to be in Vancouver, and I think I might have a date.....

Q